Your morning sinus headache

So you get a sinus headache. There is a metal spike being driven into your head right between your eyes and your nose feels like it’s full of cotton. You take a prescription dose of ibuprophen and go to bed.

You wake up a half hour before the alarm is set to go off because now all of the pressure is on the right side. You lay on your left side so that things will drain and they do slowly. The headache creeps back just enough to be annoying and you can’t do anything more that doze now. Laying on your left side is not something you ever do. It is uncomfortable and distracting. So you lay on your back and turn your head to the left. That helps but the headache is there just enough to be a dick about it.

Five minutes before the alarm is set to go off, you get up and take a hot shower, hoping the steam will give you a bit of relief. And it does, just enough for you to go through the rest of your morning routine. You go downstairs and break open a Advil Congestion Relief tab and swallow that baby down, chasing it with two regular Advils. Now it’s just a matter of time because, even though the stuff in the congestion relief isn’t the good shit they banned because of all the tweakers, it works pretty damned well.

You kiss your wife goodbye, gather up your stuff, walk all the way down to the garage, which is empty because you parked on the street last night, walk back up three flights of stairs to the front door and out to the car.

You feel it just as you reach the car door. That palpable moment of relief that makes you sigh with joy. The release of pressure you’ve been waiting for. Your nose starts to run, a lot. It’s like your sinuses were sponges, corpulent with snotty juices, and they just got squeezed.

So you spend the first ten minutes of your drive blowing your nose. You don’t want to sniff it all back up because you don’t want to get your nose stuffed up again. And really, it doesn’t work anyway.

After a while your nose dries up so that’s good, but there’s still a bit of pressure right behind your eyes, so you sigh and get on with your day.

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